Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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