My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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