absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
