It's like God shit irony all over that family
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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