gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I enjoy the company of your penis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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