he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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