I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
