I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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