at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I think my moral compass just broke
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