she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
