You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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