Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
