i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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