she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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