would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
