He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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