I will die if light touches me.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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