just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
