i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
