It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
As shirtless as possible
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
