i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
