Fuck appropriateness.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
