look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
