we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
