So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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