I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
