too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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