u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just cut my nipple shaving
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
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I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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