So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
