I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
