We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
