wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
