ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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