When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
