toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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