I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
