I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
