I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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