youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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