I'm eating all of the evidence.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize