As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
