Little spoons don't ask big questions
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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