If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
