Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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