elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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