apparently the secret to your success is patron
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
