Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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