You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
