the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
ttyl tear gas
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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