After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
