So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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