we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
