Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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