yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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