I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize