just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
