I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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