he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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