I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Pants 0. Shit 1.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
