I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
The ass gains better be worth it
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