If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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