i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
