When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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