i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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