He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
