is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
operation have a gay friend backfired
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
