Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
