I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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